The Theory of Minimalism

The emotions we attach to belongings when we’re grieving – and how to let them go

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When decluttering, it’s not always as simple as deciding if you practically need something or not.

You can’t always pick up a belonging, decide whether or not it sparks joy, and then let it go.

It’s not about getting rid of multiples, or ‘just in case’ items, or things that no longer serve their purpose.

It’s sometimes a little more complicated than that.

Sure, those factors can certainly help you to declutter the possessions that you don’t have much of an emotional attachment to – you don’t need duplicates, broken things, ‘rainy day’ items or impractical pieces – but these dispassionate factors don’t make it any easier to let go of things when feelings are involved. And especially when we are grieving.

That’s because, sometimes, the item you’re considering decluttering is more than just the item. It’s the sentiment behind it. The emotion you feel when it’s around. The positives (or the negatives) it brings to your life.

Happiness, nostalgia, duty, sadness, peacefulness, regret, longing, love, sentimentality, guilt.

All of these feelings could be triggered by an item and could determine whether or not you’ll find it hard to let it go, even if you want to.

So, it’s important to analyse the emotional attachment you have to the belongings you choose to keep and discover whether they are serving you well or causing more harm than good.

Grief

It’s often the case that we gain extra possessions after a bereavement. We might have been kindly left something by the deceased person or we might need to clear out a relative’s home when they go into care or die.

And, when we are already coping with such a difficult time and a complex set of emotions, it can feel like the easiest thing to do is to hold on to items and deal with them later when we feel better able to.

The difficulty with items that come to us during a bereavement is that we feel a duty to keep them. To preserve the memory of the person by cherishing their belongings.

Displaying a physical reminder of the person feels like we are honouring them. Like we are keeping them with us. Sentimental items allow us to reminisce, they serve as a prompt to remind us of the good times. That’s when an item becomes so much more than an item.

After a person dies, many of their most meaningful possessions become family heirlooms, seen by those left behind as for ever containing the lost person’s essence. 

Christian Jarrett (2013)

However, it might be the case that you’ve gained too many pieces and the other person’s belongings have taken over space within your home – and therefore, space within your mind. You might also find it difficult to see the items every day and be reminded that the person is no longer with you.

But it feels wrong to call it clutter. Simply clearing it out seems uncaring – the person meant something to you, so their belongings seem like they should be cherished too.

You may want to keep some pieces. There might be important items that are special to you, that encapsulate your relationship with the person. Things that make you happy to see them – nostalgic, joyful, whistful – anything that brings positive thoughts and emotions into your body is worth holding on to, if that’s what you want.

But we do already have our own possessions that fill our homes and our time, without adding another person’s belongings into the mix. You’re not being heartless if you’re considering giving any of it up, especially if you’re finding it stressful to have more items in your rooms that you’re comfortable with.

If it’s making you sad to see the items, to feel unsettled in your space, to feel guilty about having them (or letting them go) you may need to rethink whether it’s worth hanging onto someone else’s item if it is having a negative impact on your life. Deciding what to keep and what to let go can be supremely important in this instance.

The end of an era

Of course, grief doesn’t only apply to the death of a person. It could refer to the end of a relationship, a friendship that’s run its course, or a period of time – ‘the end of an era’.

Anything that triggers an emotional response can throw up the same feelings of guilt, sadness, duty, despondency, regret – or on the flip side – joy, sentimentality, contentment, well-being and so on.

Again, it can be tempting to hold on to items that remind us of the time or honour the person. And if you feel it’s positive to do so, there’s no harm in adding possessions to your collection.

But, you can also use the decluttering process to emotionally cleanse. Letting go of physical items can be a powerful demonstration of how willing you are to move on from that time in your life.

Consider the emotional attachment you have to the things you keep around you. Do you have decor around your apartment that you got during a particularly crappy time in your life? Let those things go, but decide what to let go by thinking about what they make you feel.

Brianna Wiest (2017) pp.179

It’s true that simply having residual things from a negative time around can be triggering. It can feel cathartic to ditch those items and start afresh. Perhaps it’ll be a strong signifier to yourself that you’re willing to change or to imagine a different life ahead.

Cleaning and organising can also help to ease stress. So, if you’re currently going through a period of change or upheaval in your life, the very act of decluttering and tidying your space can help bring about feelings of calm and boost wellbeing.

However, making snap decisions when you’re already feeling emotionally vulnerable could cause regrets. You might need to give yourself time to process the end of the relationship or era before you clear out the things you negatively associate with the time.

But once, you’re feeling emotionally strong enough to experience those emotions again, you can look forward to the release that will come with letting go of the things are aren’t serving you.

When it comes to sentimental items, we worry that our memories are tied up in them and that we will forget the person or the period of time altogether if we don’t have that visual prompt. While items can and do act as a signifier of the time/person, our memories are stored in our minds, not within the thing.

So perhaps a photograph of the item would be enough of a visual reminder of those happy memories? That way, we’re not being confronted by the item each time we walk into our room – which may trigger complicated thoughts when we’re least expecting (or prepared for) it – and we can choose when we want to sit down and reminisce with the photo on our own terms.

When we’re grieving – for a person, era or relationship of any kind – emotions run high and it can be a confusing time. Showing yourself compassion no matter what feelings are thrown up is the key to processing your thoughts. And there’s no need to act quickly (unless you feel it would help) when it comes to dealing with possessions that are linked to the situation.

Give yourself the time and space to contemplate, consider and choose what items you want to carry with you and those that would, in any other situation, just feel like clutter to you.

Jarratt, C. (2013) The Psychology of Stuff and Things. [Online]. [Accessed 5th October 2023]. Available from: https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/psychology-stuff-and-things

Weist, B. (2017) 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think United States: Thought Catalog

How minimalism can help soothe the ‘Micro Stressors’ of everyday life

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Unexpected life events are expected to be points of stress within our lives, but did you know that ‘micro stressors’ could be having the same effect on you as larger issues such as divorce, redundancy, moving house or trauma?

They may sound small and insignificant, but micro stressors are only that when seen in isolation. When grouped together, these everyday micro stressors can build up to unmanageable levels and can sap our mental resources.

They’re the smaller things in our lives that pile up to drain us – depleting our resilience, and making it harder for us to go about our daily lives in a good and healthy headspace.

Kathryn Wheeler

Micro stressors can be found in the workplace (deadlines, working hours, demands), in your relationships (values, expectations, pressure), and within your own sense of perfectionism. Each of these situations demands potentially unreachable standards and can therefore be the root of cause micro-doses of stress each day.

But, alongside these stressors is your environment. And that’s where minimalism comes.

Although there are often factors beyond your control in some environments you find yourself in (background noise, crowding, bright lights), where you can influence those micro stressors is within your own home.

Clutter is one of the most common micro stressors. It’s a physical manifestation of the problem because it literally builds up over time. Little by little, those piles of papers and messy corners add up until the clean-up operation becomes an overwhelming task. Stressful.

But, in this instance, we’re not talking about the stress of the massive tidying task itself, we’re concerned with the mini piles creating moments of micro-stress every day; A messy shelf catching your eye and nagging you to do something about it. The stacks of unopened paperwork and unread publications weighing down your kitchen table and your mind.

It becomes tiring – exhausting – to think about everything you need to sort out all the time. The to-do list is endless so those micro stressors in your environment become maxi stressors in your life. It’s only natural – evolution has caused us to be stressed by clutter.

Minimalism is such a useful lifestyle if you want to eliminate at least some of those micro stressors from your life. Although you can’t control other people and external environments (so may just need to find ways of coping with those micro stressors when they occur), you CAN tackle your home and remove any stressors there.

At the very least, by living a minimalist lifestyle, you won’t have mess to stress you out. You don’t need to grow your to-do list to extortionate proportions because there’s a place for everything and everything has its place.

Your home environment is organised and calm. It’s easy to keep on top of clutter. You can truly relax when you’re there. Plus, it’s easier to keep clean and tidy too, which is another way to ease stress.

That said, striving for the ‘perfect’ minimalist home is, conversely, a micro-stressor in itself. Try to let go of perfectionism so that it doesn’t become a new source of stress. If you can do this while still embracing decluttering and maintaining a tidy environment, you’ll feel a reduction in those daily mini-stresses – ‘one less thing to worry about.’

Just remember that ‘good enough’ is a more healthy approach than ‘perfect’.

Final thought: Why not try bringing minimalism into your workspace too? A clutter-free desk could equal one less work-related micro stressor and could help you to keep on top of your workload, too.

Wheeler, K. (2021) ‘Common micro stressors and how to tackle them‘ [online] [11th August 2023]. Published 13th October 2021. Happiful. Surrey, UK. Available from: https://happiful.com/common-micro-stressors-and-how-to-tackle-them

Why cognitive flexibility is vital for a minimalist lifestyle

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Changes are afoot.

You’re beginning your journey into minimalism and the outcome is yet unknown.

Nonetheless, you’re willing to test the theory, give it a go, see what happens.

That’s when cognitive flexibility is both required AND working at its best.

A report by Barbara Jacquelyn Sahakian published in Mensa magazine (March 2022) discusses the concept of cognitive flexibility and of its importance in our lives. It includes traits such as curiosity, imagination, creativity and empathy and allows us to investigate different concepts and adapt to new situations.

Any kind of change of direction in your life will require cognitive flexibility. So, if you’re starting out on the path to minimalism, you’ll have already become curious about the topic and you may have begun to imagine how your life could be different when living with less.

You’ll also need to be flexible in your approach to your belongings and accept that your activities, routines and physical surroundings may need to change in order to live a more minimal lifestyle.

Imagining future scenarios where you have minimised your home allows you to discover how you may need to embrace new ways of doing things or may need to adjust your approach at the decluttering stage in order to achieve your goals.

Exploring a multitude of different scenarios shows cognitive flexibility and makes you more likely to succeed on your minimalist journey.

On the flip side, cognitive rigidity may prevent you from achieving your goal of living a more minimalist life.

The opposite of cognitive flexibility is cognitive rigidity, which is found in a number of mental health disorders including obsessive-compulsive disorder, major depressive disorder and autism spectrum disorder.

Barbara J Sahakian, 2022

The good news is that you can learn to be more cognitively flexible. In fact, you may be able to overcome some elements of cognitive rigidity through your search for a more simple life.

For example, compulsive hoarding is often considered to be a type of OCD. So, if you are able to declutter some of your belongings, you’re demonstrating the ability to be cognitively more flexible.

Likewise, the changes to routine that are required to live more minimalistically may feel difficult for autism spectrum people but being curious about, imagining, and making that adjustment is a sign of improved cognitive flexibility.

All cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) methods help you to learn to be more cognitively flexible by training you to change your patterns of thoughts and behaviour. So each small step you take to toward a minimalist lifestyle will help to enhance your cognitive flexibility and get you closer to achieving your aim.

And when you stay cognitively flexible, you’ll be able to think outside the box to cope with any challenges that arise throughout your minimalism journey.

Go for it!

Sahakian, B. J. (2022) ‘Outside of the box’, Mensa, March 2022, pp.08-10.

First published:

Sahakian, B. J., Langley, C., and Leong, V. (2021) ‘IQ tests can’t measure it but cognitive flexibility is key to learning and creativity, [online]. [26 February 2022] The Conversation. Published June 23 2021 Available from: https://theconversation.com/iq-tests-cant-measure-it-but-cognitive-flexibility-is-key-to-learning-and-creativity-163284

Bratiotis, C., Otte, S., Steketee, G., Muroff, J., Frost, R. O. (2009) ‘Hoarding Fact Sheet’, [online] [26 February 2022]. International OCD Foundation (IOCDF), Boston. Available from: https://iocdf.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Hoarding-Fact-Sheet.pdf

How cleaning and organising eases stress

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Do you ever find yourself speed-cleaning after an argument? Have you done the washing up after a conflict with your kids? Ever thrown an ex-partner’s clothes out of the window when you’ve broken up? (That just sounds like sensible decluttering to me!)

If you pick up the vacuum or start frantically tidying after dealing with a difficult situation this could be a way that your brain tries to ease your stress levels. A sort of reset, if you will.

It’s all subconscious, of course. I’m sure you’re not thinking that you MUST have a clean house just to spite the person you argued with. What good would having an empty dishwasher be when you’re crying about your boss berating you at work?

Some people find that the act of cleaning or organising helps them relieve stress from other areas of life.

Dr. Brian King (2019)

If you find yourself tackling a task, decluttering or doing paperwork after dealing with a difficult situation, you’re probably it doing in order to feel better. It may provide a distraction from the situation, it might allow you time to process negative thoughts without acting on them, and it certainly helps you to use up that excess ‘fight-or-flight’ energy.

You know the phrase ‘there’s no use crying over spilt milk’? It basically means: the quicker you get on with your life after an incident, the better you will feel. It’s telling you to stop crying (the stress element) and get on with cleaning it up (to ease the stress). I think that’s essentially why cleaning and organising makes us feel better – it literally wipes the slate clean.

In fact, it’s likely that you’ll get loads more work done during a stressful time than if you were doing some run-of-the-mill cleaning and organising at home. So, if you’re struggling with mental or emotional clutter after a difficult situation, you might as well harness this to tackle your physical clutter too – and feel better in the process.

Plus, an organised, clutter-free home enables you to feel more calm and relaxed in general – as discussed in my previous article ‘You are an Antelope: Why Evolution Causes Us to Be Stressed by Clutter‘ – which explain why we feel the urge to tidy and ‘clear the horizon of danger’ after we’ve been through a tough time.

Some people find solace in cleaning and organising when they’re in midst of a difficult period in their life. If something is out of your control and is causing you unhappiness, stress or anxiety, at least you can regain some control by tidying or organising your own environment.

Often people turn to minimalism after a period of stress in their life in order to get a feeling of calm and a sense of control. I’m not talking about an argument in this instance, but other issues such as grief, burnout at work or health problems. For example, co-founder of The Minimalists Joshua Fields Millburn began his own minimalist journey after the death of a parent and dissatisfaction in his corporate career.

We didn’t control our time, and we didn’t control our lives. So in 2010, we took back control using the principles of minimalism to focus on what’s important.’

Fields Millburn, J and Nicodemus, R (2010-20150 pp. 10)

So, the next time you feel stressed, maybe you could try to harness your brain’s desire for calm and order by doing trying following:

  • Grab the vacuum – the noise is a great way to block out worrisome thoughts.
  • Dig the garden – the physical activity can help you to burn off excess adrenaline.
  • Tackle tasks you’ve been putting off – you’ll feel a sense of achievement doing something you’ve procrastinated over.
  • Declutter your belongings – clear the horizons of clutter to naturally bring down your ongoing stress levels.
  • Shred unnecessary paperwork – that sense of destruction will help you to feel calmer after an argument.
  • Organise your desk – to regain a feeling of control.

If you have a go at doing one or more of these tasks after you’ve experienced a difficult situation, even if it doesn’t improve your mental state, at least you’ve achieved something, moved your body and will have a tidier home, garden or desk at the end of it.

Fields Millburn, J and Nicodemus, R (2010-2015) Essential: Essays By The Minimalists Montana: Asymmetrical Press

King, B. (2019) The Art of Taking It Easy: How to Cope with Bears, Traffic and The Rest Of Life’s Stressors. USA: Apollo Publishers

Why your friends are hindering your minimalist journey

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Peer pressure. Conformity. Kowtowing.

They’re all words for going along with the norm, albeit with rather negative connotations.

However, those words don’t mean you’re being bullied into sticking to the status quo. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Because, when we go along with the consensus of our peer group, our mind doesn’t object. Our brains don’t even recognise that we’ve been caused to change our mind by others. It happens subconsciously.

“Peer pressure can actually change your view of a problem. Groups are like mind-altering substances.”

Cain, S. (2013) pg. 92

I found it really interesting to read neuroscience studies on the fear of judgement and Solomon Asch’s Conformity Experiment was one of the earliest to investigate group influence in 1951. The study asked participants to answer a question with a clearly obvious answer – to choose the length of a line that matched a target line.

The real participant was placed in a group of actors who has been instructed to all give the same wrong answer. The test was to see whether the real participant would go along with the answers of the majority. Over 12 critical trials 75% of participants went along with the group at least once, despite believing that the answer was wrong.

“People conform for two main reasons: because they want to fit in with the group (normative influence) and because they believe the group is better informed than they are (informational influence).”

McLeod, S. (2018)

But fitting in or not trusting your instincts isn’t the only reason why you may feel the need to conform to your friends’ ways of thinking. A more recent study by neuroscientist Gregory Berns showed that our perception can be changed by a group at brain-region level.

In this study, participants played a shape-matching game alone and as part of a group. At the same time an fMRI scanner recorded the brain activity of the volunteers. When playing alone, the participants only got the wrong answer 13.8% of the time. But when in a group where other participants gave the wrong answer, they agreed with the wrong answer 42% of the time.

And it wasn’t just peer pressure that caused this result. The fMRI scans showed heightened activity in the occipital and parietal network – the visual and spatial perception regions of the brain – suggesting that group influence had changed the participant’s overall perception of the shape they were seeing rather than affecting their decision-making prefrontal cortex.

When asked, the conforming participants admitted to being blind to the group influence and truly believed the wrong answer to be correct. So, it stands to reason that your friends’ opinions of minimalism may impact your own thoughts on the topic more than you would care to admit.

On the flip-side of these two experiments, those participants who didn’t conform showed increased activity in the amygdala, the brain’s fear zone, so we can conclude that it was scary for the participants to go against the group consensus. Berns referred to this as “the pain of independence”.

Does it feel like you’re going against the grain by practicing minimalism? Would you worry about talking to your friends about your minimalist journey? If so, you may be feeling the urge to conform to group norms and that’s totally natural.

But would my friends using air quotes when they talk about me being “a minimalist” stop me from wanting to live with less? Perhaps not. But would it make me talk about the subject less around them? Definitely. Will it prevent me from going quite as far with my decluttering as I would like for fear of my home looking too stark and sparking those less-than-comfortable discussions with friends about minimalism? Yep. You’d never know from looking around my home that I’m a minimalist; there’s just enough of everything to not look out-of-the-ordinary.

Because I don’t want to discuss minimalism with my friends.

I don’t want them to change my mind.

Berns, G., Chappelow, J., Zink, C.F., Pagnoni, G., Martin-Skurski,, M. E., Richards, J. (2005) Neurobiological Correlates of Social Conformity and Independence During Mental Rotation. Society of Biological Psychiatry (Available at http://www.ccnl.emory.edu/greg/Berns%20Conformity%20final%20printed.pdf)

Cain, S. (2013) Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. 2nd Edition. London: Penguin Books

McLeod, S. (2018) Solomon Asch – Conformity Experiment [online] [28th December 2018] Available from: https://www.simplypsychology.org/asch-conformity.html

The desire to acquire: Why the novelty of buying new things soon wears off

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You may have wanted it for a long time. You probably saved up for it. You may, in fact, need it. It might even feel exciting to have it in your life. Its all you’ve thought about for a significant amount of time.

This could be a car, newly-released technology, some hobby equipment, a piece of jewellery, or even just a lovely pen. Whatever it is, if you felt the desire to acquire, it must have been important to you.

But then, soon after, your brain stops being excited by it. You barely notice it any more. Even if you use it every day, you won’t feel the surge of excitement you experienced when you first used it/played with it/wore it/drove it.

The research of behavioural economist Tom Gilovich from Cornell University is discussed in Janice Kaplan’s The Gratitude Diaries; ‘His research found (over and over again) that people get more lasting joy from experiences than from objects.’ (Kaplan 2016, p. 95)

Our brain neurons and nerve cells are on the lookout for new stimuli at all times. It’s a protective thing – to keep us safe. In fact, I discussed this in my blog post ‘You are an antelope: why evolution causes us to be stressed by clutter’.

On the other hand, when the same neurons already recognise something, there no need for you to be stimulated by it. If it’s been in your life for a while, it’s unlikely to be a threat, so your brain can skip past it without worry.

This explains why the novelty wears off when we acquire something new. Your brain gets used to having it around. It’s no threat to you so it needs no special attention. Thanks neurons, your work here is done.

So, if that thing you want so badly now will soon become white noise in your life, do you really need it? Can you do without it? Could it be one less thing in your home and more money saved in your account?

The moment we want is the moment we are dissatisfied.

Haig, M (2019) pg. 230

In Notes on a Nervous Planet, Matt Haig suggests that we should be wary of our ‘wants’, as too many wants can cause us to feel unhappy. It is this dissatisfaction with ‘our lot’ that drives the economy: it’s good for business for us to desire something because then we’ll spend money trying to acquire it. And the marketers have done their job.

Even if we’ve just bought something that we thought we really needed, it won’t be long before the next ‘want’ creeps in. Beware the want.

The Minimalists suggest a rule for making purchases – the 30/30 rule. If something costs more than $30, wait 30 hours before you buy it. That gives you a chance to walk away. To ruminate on it. Maybe you’ll even forget about it. And if you still need to buy it after 30 hours, you are welcome to purchase it.

They take it one step further by waiting 30 days before making purchases that cost over $100. If you’ve waited that long and still want it, you can confidently bring it into your home knowing that it’s a something you truly want or need. Just don’t expect to feel any kind of excitement about it after a period of time.

You may not even notice it after 30 days of owning it.

Let me know if you’ve experienced the novelty wearing off in the comments below – what did you really want that now holds little interest?

Haig, M (2019) Notes On A Nervous Planet. 2nd Edition. Edinburgh: Cannongate Books

Kaplan, J. (2016) The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on The Bright Side Transformed My Life. London: Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

Millburn, J. F. The 30/30 Rule. [online] [25th August 2020]. Available from: https://www.theminimalists.com/3030rule/

You are an antelope: Why evolution causes us to be stressed by clutter

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You’re an antelope. You’re scanning the horizon. You’re on the look out for lions. You can’t quite see what’s beyond the trees. Did that bush just rustle? Your breath quickens. You’re ready to run at any moment. Your system is flooded with adrenaline. It’s fight or flight time.

That’s what it’s like to live in a cluttered home.

Okay, okay, maybe comparing people with messy homes to anetlopes in mortal danger of being hunted by lions is too abstract. But it’s essentially the same kind of effect; if you’re stressed out by clutter, it’s because you are programmed by nature to be stressed out by clutter.

Clutter bombards our minds with excessive stimuli (visual, olfactory, tactile), causing our senses to work overtime on stimuli that aren’t necessary or important.

Bourg Carter, S. (2012)

Our ancestors actually DID have the same kind of experience as an antelope. They WERE in danger from predators and they WOULD have to scan the horizon to keep themselves safe.

And it’s this tendancy to scan for danger that causes us stress in the modern era. Not being able to see the horizon beyond the clutter feels dangerous to our cave-person minds. Instinctively, this causes us to feel stressed when we’re confronted with too much stuff at once.

Some people aren’t affected by clutter in this way. Maybe they’re better adapted to modern living. Yes, maybe they’re more evolved than I am. But there’s no doubt in my mind about the stress levels I personally feel rising when I’m surrounded by clutter.

The unpleasantness of clutter is as much, if not more, a psychological issue as it is a topic of home design. Clutter can be a matter of the mind. It can immobilize us. It can get in the way of clear thinking, even clear functioning. It can derail us when it becomes excessive.

Davis. H. (2012)

In Notes on a Nervous Planet Matt Haig discusses just how quickly the human race has developed; from wearing animal skins 50,000 years ago to developing civilisation in Mesopotamia. It’s just a 4,0000-year hop, skip and jump from the first money and alphabet to email and space travel.

Did social evolution really give ourselves enough time to adapt to the modern way of life? Or are we all really just experiencing our natural pre-civilisation urges to feel anxious when we scan the horizon?

Historically we had a natural need to belong to a social group or tribe, as this was crucial for our survival. Our brains therefore have a strong ability to spot things that don’t belong which, in this instance, could be all the things your eyes have spotted ‘on the horizon’.

Our limbic brain is powerful, powerful enough to drive behaviour that sometimes contradicts our rational and analytical understanding of a situation.

Sinek, S. (2009) p.57

If you’ve ever had a ‘gut feeling’ that something was wrong but you couldn’t tell what, that’s your limbic brain sparking into action. It’s irrational, but instinctual. That’s why you can sometimes feel ‘off’ when nothing seems to be wrong on the surface of it. And we tend to trust our gut instincts in a lot of situations don’t we? Especially in over-stimulating environments.

Introverts in particular can easily feel overstimulated. Psychologist Hans Eysenck (Chung, M. 2016) proposed that extroverts can cope with higher levels of stimulation and that intoroverts are more sensitive, therefore requiring low-key environments.

When we feel overloaded in a situation or environment, we can become anxious or even panic. Haig discusses the how overstimulating the modern world can be and the effect this can have on our mental health.

Panic is the product of overload. In an overloaded world we need to have a filter. We need to simplify things. We need to disconnect sometimes… A kind of mental feng shui.

Haig, M. (2019) p.37

So, if you don’t want to feel stressed in your own home, panicked by an overload of belongings and under attack from your posessions, maybe now’s the time to streamline your stuff?

Chung, M. (2016) The Irresistable Introvert. New York: Skyhorse Publishing.

Bourg Carter, S. (2012) Why Mess Causes Stress: 8 Reasons, 8 Remedies. [Online]. [Accessed 25th August 2020]. Available from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/high-octane-women/201203/why-mess-causes-stress-8-reasons-8-remedies

Davis, H. (2012) The Perils of Clutter. [Online]. [Accessed 25th August 2020]. Available from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/caveman-logic/201206/the-perils-clutter

Haig, M. (2019) Notes On A Nervous Planet. 2nd Edition. Edinburgh: Cannongate Books.

Sinek, S. (2009) Start With Why. London: Penguin.

How practicing gratitude can support a minimalist life

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Stress and anxiety can lead us to hoard. To take comfort in the things that surround us. We may come to rely on things to distract us and bring us happiness.

So when I began reading on the subject of gratitude, I soon realised the link this practice may have in supporting a person on their journey into minimalism – and into a happier life, for that matter.

Countless studies show that gratitude can boost happiness and reduce levels of stress and depression. When I read Janice Kaplan’s book ‘The Gratitude Diaries‘, one of the first pieces of information I bookmarked was this:

An article in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology evaluating all the literature in the field concluded that gratitude may have the highest connection to mental health and happiness of any of the personality traits studied. The conclusion: ‘Around 18.5 per cent of individual differences in people’s happiness could be predicted by the amount of gratitude they feel.’ Now, that made me stop. Being 18.5 per cent happier is a lot of happier.

Janice Kaplan, 2016, p.15

Janice Kaplan goes on to keep a gratitude diary throughout the year, applying gratitude to a variety of situations; relationships, work, health and, most interestingly for me, the stuff we own. Can gratitude really help us to want and need less?

In Joshua Becker’s book ‘The More of Less‘ the author tackles the topic of consumerism and how we are manipulated into filling our home with stuff and spending money we don’t have. Yet, even when we get the thing we want, we still aren’t satisfied.

Consumption never fully delivers on its promise of fulfillment or happiness. Instead, it steals our freedom and results only in an unquenchable desire for more. It brings burden and regret. It distracts us from the very things that do bring us joy.

Joshua Becker, 2016, p.47

The research of behavioural economist Tom Gilovich from Cornell University, supports Becker’s words. His findings discussed in Kaplan’s book showed, time and again, that material possessions are not as satisfying as we think they will be.

This is the very essence of what psychologists call the ‘Hedonic Treadmill‘. You want it. You acquire it. You’re not as happy as you thought you would be. You look for the next big thing.

You can avoid getting trapped in this materialistic cycle by practising gratitude. This keeps your focus on the things you DO have rather than the things you don’t have. It can help you feel satisfied and that you already have abundance in your life, without the need to acquire more.

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little

Epicurus – Greek philosopher

Psychology and neuroscience researchers from Baylor University concluded that “materialism has been consistently related to lower levels of life satisfaction”. As a result of Kaplan’s year-long experiment to maintain a grateful outlook, her life satisfaction increased and she realised that she didn’t need stuff in order to be happy:

Instead of trying to psychological holes of the soul with jewellery and clothes and cars, it’s better to use gratitude to make the emptiness disappear altogether. As an extra bonus, people who are grateful are less likely to yearn for the stuff that ultimately won’t add to overall well-being, anyway.

Janice Kaplan, 2016, p.110

HOW TO HARNESS GRATITUDE TO SUPPORT YOUR MINIMALIST JOURNEY

There are many things you can do bring gratitude into your life and boost your life satisfaction levels – here are just a few ideas:

  • Keep a gratitude journal. Write the details of events you were grateful for as and when they occur so that you can look back over them during less-than-grateful times.
  • Record three things you’re grateful for. Do this in your daily diary every night to record good things that happened. It might be a phone call with a friend, a lovely meal, working in a job you enjoy etc.
  • Make a list. Brain-dump all the things – and I mean ALL the things – you could be grateful for, from your ability to breathe to your favourite blend of tea.
  • Go for a walk and notice all the things you can be grateful for; the weather, your surroundings, those smiling faces, the convenient location of the local post office, the sunset.
  • Enjoy a bit of manifesting by feeling grateful for the things you will have over the years to come; your dream career, future family, the home you’ll build, strong mental health etc.
  • Actually say ‘thank you’ out loud when thinking about something you’re grateful for.

In Fearne Cotton’s uplifting book ‘Happy’, the author believes ‘the wheels of our economy are spun by the feeling that we don’t quite have enough’ (Cotton, 2017 p. 216). She suggests that gratitude is a great habit to learn in order to feel lucky rather than lacking.

Feeling gratitude – real, whole gratitude – comes in spontaneous waves when you’re on the edge of sheer bliss, where it feels only right to smile and beam a big THANK YOU or the simple things that lie in front of you. Saying it and really meaning it can massively awaken your senses and perspective to what there is in life to feel thanks for.

Fearne Cotton, 2017, p. 215

The author suggests exercises to harness gratitude including writing a gratitude list or diary, seeking out little things to appreciate each day, noting down small things you are grateful for to build up a bank of gratitude and eve thanking bad experiences for lessons learnt.

Have you experienced higher levels of life satisfaction after practicing gratitude. Do you keep a gratitude diary? Have you become less materialistic as a result? What other techniques can you suggest? I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.

Becker. J. (2016) The More of Less: Finding the Life You Want Under Everything You Own. Colorado: Waterbrook Press

Cotton, F. (2017) Happy: Finding joy in every day and letting go of perfect. London: Orion Spring.

Kaplan, J. (2016) The Gratitude Diaries: How a Year Looking on The Bright Side Transformed My Life. London: Hodder & Stoughton Ltd

How Freud’s 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development relate to hoarding

Minimalism Introducing Psychology Book Hoarding Theory Science 1
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One of my own personal theories is that some people are just ‘born minimalists’. Looking back over my childhood I believe I’m one of those people. During my research I’ve uncovered plenty of examples and psychological theories to support this. And, on the other hand, people can also be born hoarders – well, kind of. According to Freud, the tendency to hoard can be traced back to childhood.

Sigmund Freud came up with the 5 Stages of Psychosexual Development we all go through while growing up. Our experiences during that time will affect our future selves.

STAGES OF PSYCHOSEXUAL DEVELOPMENT BY FREUD

  • Age 0-2 Oral stage
  • Age 2-3 Anal stage
  • Age 3-6 Phallic stage
  • Age 6-11 Latent stage
  • Age 11+ Genital stage

While I’m sure there are lessons to be learnt from the other stages, the phase that relates to minimalism – or, in this case, hoarding – is at the age of 2-3 years: what Freud calls the Anal stage.

This is when a child takes its first steps to independence. It’s while potty training that a child can gain confidence and begin making decisions for itself. At this age children they learn to ‘let things go’. If parents are strict about potty training, the child may be reluctant to give up anything in the future.

You may have heard of the phrase ‘anally retentive’? Well, this second phase of childhood development is when someone begin to exhibit such traits. As such, they may develop hoarding tendencies later in life. A person is simply keeping hold of things because, as adults, they are able to make the decision for themselves. They are no longer being ‘forced’ to give it up.

It’s possible that your experience of potty training from the ages of 2-3 may impact your life as a minimalist. You may find it easy to let things go while decluttering. Or minimising your ‘hoard’ may be a more difficult process for you. Nonetheless, it can be done!

Have a read of our blog posts on the Practice of Minimalism for practical tips.

Benson, N. C., (2007) Introducing Psychology, London, Icon Books Ltd.

The ‘hyper brain’ of high IQ individuals + how minimalism can help with these anxieties

Mensa Magazine July 2020 High Iq Intelligence Anxiety Disorder Psychology Minimalism 1
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In an article complied from the Mensa World Journal, the results of a study by lead author Ruth Karpinski of Pitzer College were shared with the Mensa UK community in the July 2020 issue of Mensa magazine.

With findings originally published in the journal ‘Intelligence’ and on neurosciencenews.com the article reports that highly intelligent people have an increased chance of suffering from psychological issues, including anxiety disorders.

The study developed a hyper brain / hyper body theory and suggests that “individuals with high cognitive ability react with an overexcitable emotional and behavioural response to their environments. Due in part to their increased awareness of their surroundings, people with a high IQ then tend to experience an overexcitable, hyperactive central nervous system.”

So those with above-average intelligence may find that they are more sensitive to their surroundings and, as such, may benefit from a minimalist approach.

On the other hand, a disorganised, cluttered space or environments with loud noises or strong smells could be enough to evoke an anxious response.

The co-author of the original study Audrey Kinase Kolb confirms that participants with a higher intelligence experienced significantly more anxiety than average: “Just over ten per cent of the US has a diagnosed anxiety disorder, compared to 20 per cent of Mensans.”

It goes to show that being ‘gifted’ is not always the case – as Karpinski says; “Those with high IQ possess unique intensities and overexcitabilities which can be at once both remarkable and disabling on many levels.”

In an effort to minimise those disabling effects, adopting a calm lifestyle and peaceful environment with minimal distractions – sounds, smells, clutter – could be a factor in improving anxieties in high IQ individuals.

From:

Mensa World Journal, 2020, ‘Anxious times for those with high IQ’, Mensa magazine, July 2020, pp. 28.

Original study:

Karpinski, R.I., Kinase Kolb, A.M., Tetreault, N.A., and Borowski, T.B, 2017, ‘High intelligence: A risk factor for psychological and physiological overexcitabilities’, Intelligence. Published online October 8 2017

Welcome to the Theoretical Minimalist blog

Theoretical Minimalist Minimalism Theory Writing Ideas (6)
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Minimalism is a mystery.

I’ve been researching it for years.

And I’ve heard it said so many times that there’s no ‘right way’ to be a minimalist.

Minimalism looks different for everyone.

  • It’s not about the aesthetic. But, also, it is.
  • It’s not about having a specific number of belongings. But, also, it is.
  • It’s not about getting rid of everything until you’re living in an empty, echoey box. But, also, it is.

So I’m not here to tell you WHAT you should do.

But I AM here to tell you the WHY behind it.

I’m interested in the psychology behind minimalism. What theories you can apply to it and how we can all understand ourselves better.

How minimalism can change our lives through the power of our minds.

Wow, that’s a big promise, isn’t it?